Public Apology

This is the storing of a public apology that has absolutely nothing to do with this forum. It is being preserved in case of deletion elsewhere.

Can I have everyone, every member that frequents the forums and especially the XXX club members attention please? I have something to say to all of you, this is going to be my public apology to any of those that I have wronged. It is with a heavy heart that today I bring to you all a confession of guilt and remose for my actions after my return to the forums after somewhat of a break at the end of last year. There is this pain in my heart that compounds daily, absolutely wrenching my mind and soul into a bitter shell. I regret so many things of what I have done, there are too many to name in full. So I will start with what I can apologize for, the things that I did with full knowledge that they were wrong and would hurt others. It's bringing tears to my eyes as I think about all the lives I have utterly destroyed with my selfishness.

I must apologize to any member that I have gotten into conflict with, whether this conflict came from the forums, the place I most often frequent, the comment section, or via private messages. I understand now that I have hurt you with my words over the internet and I must apologize for my actions. Oh how could I have been so arrogant and self righteous in my actions towards all of you? My personality is not that of the usual person, I am not an uptight moralfag like so many others, which instantly means that I was always in the wrong from the very beginning. I realize this now though, and through my admission I hope that we can all be one big happy family again. I truly hope you all will read all of the words I type and have the capacity to forgive me, but I truly hope that I can forgive myself.

Firstly to those in the forums particularly in the introduction section, I should have been more kind to all of you. Who was I to actually post in accordance to my own beliefs? They were harsh beliefs and I must have tortured all the new members that experienced my berating words over the internet. I should have been more understanding that you all wouldn't have had the mental capacity to browse around the forums. That you wouldn't understand how to make your own threads despite so many others creating theirs and there being a [new topic] feature that I only assumed was so clearly at the top of that section. I should have understood that an influx of teenage members who are creating threads wouldn't understand how to compose a detailed post introducing themselves. After all, there wasn't anything to introduce in the first place and now I know that you tried your best to introduce yourself originally. I should have just gave in to the new members who have poor introductions and instead of giving them a chance to perform a proper post I now know I should have simply locked their topics in the [Improper Introduction Bin]. I was so very mean to all of you, I can't believe my actions now that I reflect back on them. You were all just kids who didn't have the mental faculty to understand the way a forum works or how to present yourselves. I take full responsibility for being such a meanie to you all. We should accept everyone no matter their defaults. I should have accepted you for who you are even though I would never have had any interests in you and feel a disdain for your personality and future posts.

Secondly I absolutely must apologize to those that experienced my extremely harsh verbal assaults in comment sections. I am so sorry that I ripped you all to pieces, that I put you in such positions you would never feel happiness again. Mostly this consisted of users who attempted to add me as a friend. I should have been more willing to accept you as my friends, because that's all I ever really wanted was friends but I was just so scared of being labeled a "friend whore" that I pushed everyone away from me. I understand that all of you people that attempted to add me, wouldn't understand how to read. That all of you couldn't possibly attempt to befriend someone by talking to them first. I mean, had you done so, attempted to talk to me, I would have just ignored you and then you never would have sent me a request. For those that requested my friendship and I turned you all away I apologize, I am so very sorry. As a typical user I should have been more accepting of your faults, of your mental retardations that disabled you from comprehending my headline that clearly stated I didn't accept any friend invitations. Not everyone would have the presence of mind to look at another's page before they add them, after all you were all just doing what I had all along wanted from this site. You were adding me in "friend whoring" fashion, I wish I could have accepted you but my fear of my peers accepting me was just too great to be kind to you. To the one who would defend those I assaulted above I am sorry, you were just defending a little girl so you could get in good with her and possibly get her real life information. I should have been completely understanding that you were just trying to be the "Knight in shining armor" to get some teenage cyber and add to your collection of friends which we all know is so very important. To the one I caught lying about having a daughter and then after a couple of retarded excuses finally came up with it being for roleplaying purposes, I am sorry I outed you. I am sorry I ruined whatever game you were running on those you knew here. If you lost your friendships from anyone, or any amount of trust from other users I am deeply sorry. I regret bringing your lies to light, I should have left everything in the dark. To the one that was involved with multiple teenage girls despite being 19-20, I am so sorry I ruined your life. I am sorry that I can't accept your tastes in little girls and hounded you until you broke up with the little girls. Even though I wished for adults to never get involved with little girls, it was completely wrong of me. I am also sorry for contacting your mother via facebook and telling her all about you and your trists with little girls, providing links to pages and your wedding thread. I am sorry that I told her my concern was that you exhibited a depressed and mentally unstable mind, unable to fully comprehend the relationships you were getting involved with. I am sorry that when I contacted your mother I told her that I feared if these relationships with little girls would continue that in the future you would be in your late 20's or early 30's and be trying to befriend these little girls still, possibly getting involved with statutory rape. Like what silverstorm or james do on anivide, surrounding themselves with little girls and talking dirty to them in pm's.

Thirdly it is time that I apologize to those whom I was in contact with via private messages. There is really only one person who fits into this category. There should have been others but they decided to bring matters up in a more esoteric setting instead of completely secluded one that could have been between a maximum of 4 people with private messages. I am sorry you hold no interests to me anymore. I am sorry that our friendship had no ground to stand on and you couldn't comprehend that because of your emotional instability. I am sorry that we have nothing in common to talk greatly about and I ended my friendship with you. I regret moving on in my life and becoming a better person (in my opinion) and not remaining the pathetic individual that you knew only months prior. I know that I said we weren't friends anymore, in fact I said I was friends with nobody on anivide anymore, that they were just associates or to a lesser degree acquaintances o me. People that I may enjoy conversing with, but they hold no real bonds with me. I deeply regret putting you in the position you are in that caused you to believe we are fighting, or that we do not like each other. I never thought that you should believe that, it is just that I don't care abour you or your friendship the way you wanted me to. I treated you like an equal, like I would anyone because I wouldn't walk around on eggshells around them. I should have just known you wouldn't understand my actions and would take so many things personally. I should have just known that after breaking my bond with you that you wouldn't be able to comprehend my personality change. Because after all this personality of mine hasn't been seen for about a year and everyone forgot about who I was before I began the mistake of caring about others to such an alarming and unstable extent. I apologize for not treating you the fragile twig, so prone to snapping that you are. I am so unexplainably sorry that you are unable to understand who I am or what this personality is without connecting yourself to every action I do. Although this, this is about you and I am specifically apologizing to you.


Fourthly, and this is what truly brings me here today; A.N.A.L.S. members I am sorry from the very deepest depths of my soul and heart. I dragged all of you into my selfish endeavor (that wasn't brought to fruition). Some would have you believe what I had done was a personal attack against the above aplogy but I am here to tell you that I was simply in the process of breaking my bonds with the club. Everyone, I set out on a mission to delete my posts from the A.N.A.L.S. club thread, my very own posts and my very own posts only. It was an inopportune times to place a burden on all of you. I had finally become so fed up with this particular club thread that while I wanted to remove my involvement (only commenting at the time on things that certain individuals would post) so instead of just not posting I wanted to remove my previous pathetic posts. I was so selfish, you all were under 100 posts from reaching 100,000 posts and a 10,000 page thread. Even though I felt that the thread was filled with drivel, brimming with bubbly aids spewed from the fingertips of the members, that it was about to burst from the sheer amount of uselessness plugged up in the thread, I should not have attempted to remove my part in the thread. I should have allowed the A.N.A.L.S. members have the satisfaction of having such an accomplishment gained in large amount through the means of flooding that thread with an undescribable amount of nonsense. You could not possibly fathom the amount of regret within me as I type this. Tears are streaming down my face because of my actions. I hurt everyone, I hurt each and every A.N.A.L.S. member by removing my own posts from the thread and temporarily robbing you of your satisfaction. It's becoming hard to breathe as I am choked up and choking on the volume on tears profusely falling down my face, and the snot dripping into my mouth. How could I ever apologize enough to make you all forive me? I care so deeply about your thoughts and opinions of me that I feel I must write and right these terrible wrongs I have committed.


Fithly, I must give this public apology to Achillies43. Achillies I deeply regret my above actions in everything I have apologized for and what I am going to apologize to you now for. What I did was openly and blatantly troll you in the mod thread. I said that my removal of my own posts in the A.N.A.L.S. thread was simply to troll everyone because I knew that you would meander in to the mod thread eventually and see what I posted, the trololo song with a troll face on the guy while he laughed. To some degree that also goes out to the Thirdly, but mostly it was for you. You see after I saw your post in the A.N.A.L.S. thread I knew that you had some emotional involvement in the situation, and I purposely posted that trololo song to troll you. Everything went as planned too, you came back with a vengeance in the mod thread demanding my removal from moderator status and you raged so well, like a little dancing puppet. Oh when I came back and read over the drama I licked my fngers like I had just eaten a juicy steak barehanded, grilled to medium. But now I am so extremely sorry to the extreme for my actions. You see whenever you get on your moral high horse about something it makes me want to antagonize you. There's just something about you that makes me want to make you, specifically you, go into a fit of rage that I can laugh at. It's not even that hard to do, which makes it all the more tempting when you can be so easily provoked. But again, Achillies43 I am so humbled by this all and I hope you can forgive me. I deeply desire for your friendship, affections, and respect.


Lastly, everybody I am so sorry. I am the reason that Achillies43 left Anivide for a little while. My actions were so damning that without any reprecutions to me for removing my own posts, he couldn't take the injustice in this world and he left Anivide for a little while, he left because I had raped justice. He was convinced however to come back to Anivide and we should all be glad to have him back. He is one of the few members who bring discussion or posts worth reading. It was never my intent for him to leave, when I read his farewell thread I lamented at the loss of such a great person. Now he has demanded that I publicly apologize or he will leave again, this is what I am doing now, this is my public apology to the members of Anivide. Now Achillies demanded, he absolutely demanded that a personal apology was not enough, that I had to apologize publicly to all of the members. This is that apology. I regret my actions, I was always in the wrong, I am a failure at everything I do. One week or One month without moderator powers is so very damning of a punishment that I could not bear that possibility so I decided to apologize publicly. Anivide can you ever forgive me for my past flaws and current perverse personality defects? I had no right to want my own posts removed from any thread ever! Especially not if they were in just one isolated thread where I wasted so much time in. I need you all to accept me. Can we just be friends and put this all behind us now? I've hurt each and every one of you who reads this. Could you find it anywhere in your hearts to forgive me for my actions?